appointments

[meritocracy]

APPOINTMENTS FOR NATALIA
Need to reach Natalia for threads or plots that would otherwise be difficult to do,
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"I will do everything in my power as the
 Princess--no, as a citizen of Kimlasca."

Comments

[meritocracy]

[Natalia just continues woodenly walking inside, she's so tired. She almost wants her head to just fall into Nephry's shoulder, to scream, cry--weep.

She's a Princess, the heir to the throne of one of the two major powers of Auldrant.

Nephry is a Governor.

It's not proper.

And this woman has pains of her own. She quietly shuts the door, leaning against it as her hand goes to her eyes, bright blinking green. Tears silently roll down her face. ]

I..was truly happy...[her hands go to her heart, as a wet laugh escapes]
To be with him like that..I was..so very happy..

[silversnowfall]

[If they went for full disclosure, Nephry would remind her that she hadn't acted as a Governor in years. Even if she had, Luceti is a good teacher, and putting those you care about before propriety an excellent lesson.

The door isn't very comfortable, is it? If Natalia's still open to the suggestion, she'll try to lead her silently away from the entry, to sit on the sofa instead. Nephry won't presume to sit beside her just yet.

Those words may as well belong to another woman she knows.]

[meritocracy]

[she just sits there, on the sofa, looking miles away. tears continue to quietly roll down her face along with that sad smile. she lifts her gloved hand to her eyes and quietly wipes them.]

..And I told myself I'd stop 'moping around'.

[silversnowfall]

[Ohforlorelei'ssake Natalia. Have a tissue, here.]

You aren't moping around. ...I won't presume to know your past together, but there's a reason you feel this way, and you shouldn't discredit yourself by burying it.

[meritocracy]

..I let it go. [she looks up with a firm chin, her eyes on hers, straight in the eyes. ]

[silversnowfall]

[If this came out of her brother's mouth, he might get slapped.

She smiles, gently, and pats Natalia's shoulder.]

I think your tears beg to differ. You're a strong young woman, Natalia - don't fall into the trap of believing emotions take away from that strength.

[meritocracy]

..[her eyes lower]
..But they have. Many times I have faltered on our journey--many times it was because of my feelings for him.

I asked him..if we could start anew. [her smile is sad and sweet]

He told me..his name was Asch.
[tears prick her eyes as she looks away, blinking rapidly]
I told him..'It was good to meet him.'

[silversnowfall]

And no one else faltered? No other feelings changed your decisions or made you take a different path?

[Ordinarily she wouldn't. But a careful hand turns Natalia's face back toward hers.]

People don't want a leader made of stone. They want someone as human and real as they are, who understands what compassion and love and grief really are. ...They do have that, in you.

...I can't help you, with Asch. Sometimes being good friends is the best you can do. But you never know what will happen, with time, even if things hurt right now.

[meritocracy]

[Natalia looks up, her weak mask breaking as she swallows, shaking her head. Many feelings..not just Asch. ]

I..I want to be worthy of them. There are moments when I feel I could not possibly ever return their devotion..
[she wipes her eyes]
If Asch can find happiness, then I myself, will be happy.

[silversnowfall]

[Now, she will presume to sit.]

Worry more when you feel their devotion is something you have the right to.

...And- try...to find happiness for yourself. Just for you. Not dependent upon Asch or Luke or Kimlasca.

[meritocracy]

...I hope a day such as that never comes to pass. [said sincerely, before she looks up, blinking back tears]

Nephry--...But--I am happy. I..

[silversnowfall]

I doubt it will.

...Ask yourself if you really, truly are. Or if it's a facade, for protection.

[meritocracy]

..I think--I'm..a little tired.

[silversnowfall]

Do you want to be left alone for a while?

[meritocracy]

No..that journey. These meetings--these reunions. What I felt then--and what I feel now. [she offers a strained smile]
I cannot go back to who I was before I started it, however--I don't think I could if I even tried. I was truly naive.

It's a little too much. Sometimes.

[silversnowfall]

No, going back is impossible. ...By that same token, "going forward" doesn't have to mean forgetting or throwing away everything from the past.

[meritocracy]

I still love him. [it's very quiet]

[silversnowfall]

...Of course you do.

[It took the place of 'so do I'; without context, statements like that are dangerous.]