meritocracy | appointments

I told you, don't apologize. [The last thing he wants her to do is worry about something so pointless.] Just forget it, Natalia.

..You're right. [she glances up at him with a serious look on her face]
Asch. There's something..I'd like to ask you, if that would be alright.

[He hesitates - briefly - then glances over at her, his expression a mixture of wariness and curiosity. Why so serious all of a sudden?]

What is it?

[she bites her lip before she looks up seriously]
Asch. Would it be alright if--[a pause. a silence.]
If we try again? I realize..I did a great wrong to you--back on Auldrant. Not seeing who you were until it was..far too late. I never told you that I had acknowledged the path you had chosen. There were so many things--that I didn't know.

You watched over me. You supported me when I doubted myself, and in turn I held you back with a promise that..no longer was valid, didn't I? It was cruel of me. It..must have caused you pain. I am sorry. I was so thankful to you--I kept thinking I had time to say what I wanted but--in the end I was afraid. [she swallows.]

And that was how..we said goodbye. Both of us are different people now. --[she won't cry. instead she just looks up with a hopeful, almost helpless smile.]

We can't go back to that promise or that future that we dreamed of as children. But that doesn't mean..that I don't want to meet the person in front of me, just as he is.

..Can I get to know you once more?

[Asch watches her for a moment, cautious, surprised, then looks away. That... is a lot to take in. And a lot that, in his memory, happened a long time ago now. It's been years since he was in Auldrant, years since that awful conversation she'd had to witness between he and Luke in Grand Chokmah. For a long time after his initial arrival here, after he'd died - or nearly died, close enough for it to count - he'd thought back to the snappish words of that day and felt regret. There were a lot of reasons for him to regret the paths he'd chosen in his life, and a lot of time to do so.

He'd been wrong. But she'd been wrong, too, and maybe a part of him had resented her for it. Her continual insistence that he was still "Luke", that she knew him, that he hadn't changed- it had hurt, hearing that. As if the seven years he'd gone through, all that he'd suffered, meant nothing to her. That all she wanted from him was the childish promise of a boy who would be her king. He'd hated that, hearing her say that, and it had driven a wedge between them, one he hadn't really known how to deal with.

They can never go back to that. He's changed too much, and he knows that she's changed, too. Their lives have gone in separate directions, and they both need to learn to live with that.

She understands that, now. He can see it. In her voice, in her words... in that sad, longing smile. She knows, and... she's waiting for an answer.

He looks back in her once more, his gaze focused, intense, though not critical or judgmental, more... uncertain. He's no good at this anymore- he'd been much better with words, polite behaviour, the treatment of a princess, as a child. Years in Daath had changed all the social grace he'd earned in Fabre Manor, like a diamond reversing itself into an unpolished stone. But he'll try. For her, he'll try, because that honest confession deserves something.

He reaches a hand out to her, tilted halfway between an offer to shake hers, or take it, as a lady might with a real gentleman. Laughable, perhaps, but it's her choice.]

I'm Asch.

[Simple, quietly spoken. He doesn't really know what else to say, but... he doesn't really know her anymore, either.

It's time. They have time. And he can try.]

[Natalia hadn't expected him to reach for her at all. She had expected her words to somehow once again, push a wedge. But once again--here they were. And he was reaching for her. It was ..it was the same affect of clenching around her heart, that outstretched hand.

Natalia can feel the tears fill her eyes and she ducks her head for a minute, to let them hold back. When she lifts her head she's smiling, it's a tired, sad, happy smile. It's many emotions on one face. Her eyes are dry.

She reaches for that hand and clasps it in her own, her voice soft. ]

I'm Natalia. It's..["Just do what you can." "I didn't say that because you were a Princess." "I'm not Luke."

"Let's change this country let's--" The words are scribbled out with black in her mind, and her hand doesn't quiver, even if her heart breaks. But at the same time--]

..Good to meet you, Asch. I look forward to..getting to know you here, in Luceti. [she swallows.]

We have quite a lot of time, didn't you know?

[Well... this is a strange experience, that much is certain. But it doesn't stop him from quietly closing his fingers around hers, lips pursing. There. They've met. After more than seven years, they've finally met each other at last. Where they go from here is still a mystery, of course, but that's... something they can deal with one step at a time. So he nods, swallowing back that irritating uncertainty.]

This place doesn't seem interested in getting rid of me. There's time enough.

[It's her he's more worried about leaving, at this point- it's happened twice already, after all. But that's all the more reason to give this a shot, isn't it? Even if it might end up being pointless, he still wants to see where it takes them. He... treasures her. She's one of the few he still truly cares about, regardless of how we he knows her. His friendship may not be worth much, but if she values it, it's hers.]

[Natalia doesn't know whether to start laughing or crying. The moment is too surreal. All she can do is quietly squeeze that hand, her eyes brimming with emotion.

As he speaks she does laugh.]

My! It seems rather fond of you. Or perhaps it was waiting for this day when we could meet! There are stranger ways for people to meet one another.

I hope it..will be fond of me as well, regardless of what comes next.

...Yeah. It might be good, if you could stay for a while.

[Not too long. He wouldn't say it, but... she deserves more than this. Kimlasca needs her, the world needs her. She's too strong and amazing to be stuck in a place like this, left to rot as some sort of housewife. He'd never want that for her.

But... for a while... maybe he can be selfish. He can want her to be here, so he can know her again. Is that so bad? To be selfish, just once?

Maybe. Maybe...]

You..think so? [she can't help but laugh a little at that. that's something she knows about him. yes, she can list the things she knows.

that's he's gruff.
that he doesn't speak openly about his feelings.

that he..that he's still kind to her after all of this. after all the misunderstandings and cruelty she unwittingly dealt him.]

I've made up my mind to stay a while. They'll be hard-pressed to remove me now.

[That earns her one of his infamous half-smiles, shaking his head. After this long he knows that determination or a will to stay has very little to do with this place; he's witnessed enough grief over the years for that to become clear. What she wants isn't what will keep her here.

Cynicism has no place here, though, and voicing his thoughts will only ruin her smile, so he carefully keeps them to himself.]

I guess I have no choice but to learn to live with it.

Oh my! You make it sound like a bad thing, Asch! [she can't help but chuckle, especially when he's giving one of those smiles.

(Another thing she knows about Asch.
He does have a little smile, you have to look for it, but it's a wonderful smile. )]

I can assure you I won't be much trouble. However I hear you can be quite hard to deal with. I suppose I'll see for myself. [teasing, can you see it.]

[Oh, he can see it. He spent enough time with Guy, Miyabi, and Stella to learn this song and dance. This... isn't so hard. He can do this. Hell, some part of him is actually enjoying it. He hasn't been able to have a calm, unstressed conversation with Natalia for a long time.

It's weird. Nostalgic, and weird. But not unpleasant.]

I only cause as much trouble as I'm given. You should know that.

Duly noted. However hopefully tolerance can be given room, after all we are going to get to know one another. [she finds she's leaning in, not close, just with her fingers steepled under her chin, smiling that kind smile she often gives, eyes crinkling. to talk to Asch like this..it's wonderful. it's almost more than she could have ever hoped or dreamed for. ]

So, what should I know? You seem like a man who likes his space.

[Hmm... how to answer that? She just seems so happy, he doesn't want to say something that would disrupt that. Although she's asked for honesty, and hiding his more negative thoughts or opinions, even with her, has never been his style.

Well then.]

I'm a private person. It's difficult for anyone to be accepted into my social circle.

[He just isn't very good at making friends, okay.]

I see. So how do you suppose I could enter this social circle, Asch?

...Hn. I'm talking to you without being coerced, so you have a good chance already. There's no need to do anything special.

Edited 2012-04-02 09:20 (UTC)

Well then, this is fortunate news indeed. I see my charms have worked.

The charms of a princess are supposed to be effective in diplomatic situations.

[It's... kind of cute, this little banter. They really did need something like this- he'd never imagined they could talk so casually before.]

The charms of a Princess are useful whenever she can put her mind to it. [just rests her chin in her hands, looking haughty if not for how amused she looked at the moment. ]

--Of course a Princess..has her moments. For example, deserts are not usually a friend of a Princess.

Deserts aren't a friend to anyone. That's why they're deserted.

[...And he still has those Fabre moments, yep.]

[she pauses, stares, and then she just..covers her mouth and starts laughing. ]

Asch--I believe that was a joke you just made.

[jkdhfkdf wh-why did she have to point it out like that...]

S... so what!?

I think I can safely say you also have a sense of humor! [she smiles kindly]
I'll keep it between us.

...Tch...

[It's not a very good sense of humour, he'll certainly admit to that. Especially since pointing him out just makes him cranky.]

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that icon.. [Action, February 12th]

[Action, February 12th] wh-what about it...

[Action, February 12th] Idk Asch just wondering what you're gonna do in that icon aflkwejawe

[Action, February 12th] he's brushing his fabulous hair

[Action, February 12th] so pretty

[Action, February 12th] he's a showoff

[Action, February 12th] special kid..

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